


definitely not a lizard

by hailingstars



Series: someone gets hurt (febuwhump 2021) [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Comic Book Science, Crack-ish, Dinosaurs, FebuWhump2021, Fluff, Gen, I don't know about this one lmao, I guess???, Imprisonment, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, just go with it, origins of the monster that lives in the stark's lake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:06:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29182239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hailingstars/pseuds/hailingstars
Summary: “I don’t understand why I have to be here, Mr. Stark,” said Peter, as Tony pulled the car into the school parking lot.“Because this is entirely your fault.”“I think entirely is a little unfair.” Peter took a glance back at Nessie, who snuggled with her pink stuffed bunny. She had gotten so big that she covered the entire front seat of the car. “I’m not the one who suggested Morgan bring her pet dinosaur for show and tell.”“But you are the reason she has a pet dinosaur.”“Don’t think enough blame is pinned on OsCorp for that one, actually.”orPeter ransacks an OsCorp lab for fun and finds Morgan a friend in the process.ORThe origin story of the monster that lives in lake behind the Stark house.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: someone gets hurt (febuwhump 2021) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2138436
Comments: 59
Kudos: 265
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	definitely not a lizard

Bits of broken glass crunched under Peter’s feet, and under his mask, he smiled, looking around at the OsCorp lab he’d just ransacked. Jameson was right. He was a menace, and it felt great. 

Good, healthy destruction was soup for the soul, and nothing felt more soul-mending then laying waste to the place responsible for so much animal cruelty. After taking a few seconds to admire his handiwork, he turned to leave, but his eyes caught a cage with a small lizard locked inside. 

“Don’t worry, buddy,” said Peter, striding across the lab, stepping on even more broken glass. “I’ll get you out there. Put you somewhere you can be free.” 

He picked up the small cage, and Karen alerted him Tony had sent him a couple of text messages reminding him about Morgan’s birthday party, telling him to be late. That they wouldn’t be waiting for him to cut the cake. 

It was a sinking realization. The remembering her birthday, and consequently, remembering he hadn’t remembered to buy her a present. Between Spider-Manning and school and friends and academic Decathlon, his life was filled with great distractions. 

The lizard jumped around in the cage, and Peter got a brilliant idea. He only hoped Mr. Stark saw the genius of it. 

*

Peter wasn’t late to the party, but him and the lizard were the last to arrive. 

He parked his car behind Bucky’s motorcycle. He swung his door open, and unbuckled the passenger’s side seatbelt, freeing the cage from the strap keeping it safe from the bumpy ride out to the lake house. 

He just hoped Ms. Lizard wasn’t too shaken up. He hoped she was ready to meet her new family. 

As it turned out, her new family wasn’t  _ quite  _ ready to meet her. Tony’s head snapped in Peter’s direction as if he was the one with the extra sense for danger. His eyes narrowed in on the lizard cage tucked under Peter’s arm, and he marched through party guests scattered about the yard and towards him. 

“What the hell is that?” 

“It’s a lizard,” said Peter. He held out the cage, balancing it on the palms of his hands. “Isn’t she cool?” 

“Please tell me,” said Mr. Stark, “that  _ thing  _ isn’t supposed to be Morgan’s present?” 

Peter gasped, and moved the lizard away from him. “Mr. Stark, she isn’t a thing.” 

“She’s not a present, either.” 

“You and Pepper were just saying Morgan needs to learn about responsibility,” said Peter. “So really a pet is a perfect present.” 

“No we weren’t,” said Tony. “We were saying  _ you  _ needed to learn about responsibility after you forgot to put gas in your car and we had to come save you on the side of the highway.” 

“Well maybe if I had a pet lizard as a kid I’d remember to put gas in my car.” 

  
  
“Oh, so it’s May’s fault?” 

“No,” said Peter. “That’s not what I meant!” 

Tony released a long, annoyed breath, and rubbed his temple. “Are you serious right now? With the lizard? Really couldn’t have thought of a less annoying birthday present?”

“It was sort of an impulse thing,” said Peter, and he explained to Tony about OsCorp. He explained the destruction of the animal testing lab, because he knew he would approve of that sort of inconvenience being bought upon Norman Osborn. “So you see, I couldn’t just leave her there in animal prison. She deserves a home.” 

“Pete, not this home,” said Tony. “Find someone else to care for your friend, and get her out of sight before Morgan -”

An ear shattering scream filled the air. Party guests, made up of mostly old and new Avengers paused and cleared the path for Morgan Stark, who charged at them in her brand new ballet slippers. 

“IS SHE MINE?” 

“Uh, well -” said Peter, shuffling his feet around, feeling awful. 

“I LOVE HER,” said Morgan. She put her knees in the dirt, and peered into the cage. The lizard stared back at her. “I’ve always wanted a lizard.” 

“You have never once said you want a lizard,” said Tony. 

“Well I didn’t know I wanted one until I had one,” she told him, with a tone that suggested it was very obvious. 

Tony closed his eyes. “Fine. You may keep the stupid reptile, but you’ve both responsible for keeping it fed and the cage clean, got it?” 

“Yeah, sure.”

Tony walked away, and Peter popped the lid to the cage open, so Morgan could get a closer look at her new pet. 

*

Two weeks passed, and Nessie no longer fit in the glass cage Peter had lifted from OsCorp. That was okay, according to Morgan, because Nessie liked sleeping at the end of her bed way more than cold, smooth glass, anyway. 

According to Tony, it was a nightmare. He was terrified of the strange noises Nessie hissed at him every morning when he tried to wake Morgan up for school. 

Peter sat at the kitchen table, minding his own business and eating cereal in a sleepy fog, when Tony stormed into the kitchen waving his bloody finger around. 

“That’s it,” said Tony. He twisted the facet, and ran steamy water over the bite marks. “I’m calling Bruce. That  _ thing  _ definitely isn’t a lizard.” 

“Maybe Nessie hates you because you keep calling her a thing,” said Peter, with a mouth full of cereal. 

Tony grumbled and poured peroxide over his hand. 

Later, Bruce showed up with a homemade DNA testing kit and a whole lot of questions. 

“...you really thought it was a good idea to let Peter and Morgan keep an unknown species from OsCorp?”

“It was kind of an impulse thing,” gritted Tony, glaring at Peter, who patted Nessie’s head, distracting her from Bruce poking her scaly skin and drawing her blood. 

Bruce worked fast, and it felt like hardly any time at all had passed before he was scratching his head, staring at the results in disbelief. 

“I think… I think Nessie’s a dinosaur.”

“Oh great,” said Tony. “OsCorp is genetically engineering dinosaurs. Just what we need.” 

“Has Norman never watched Jurassic Park?” asked Peter, with a frown. “He really should… it’s a great film.” 

“Of course he’s seen Jurassic Park. He’s just too stupid not to take it’s warning and  _ not  _ put dangerous beasts on our planet.” 

“I don’t think Nessie’s dangerous,” said Bruce. “She’s definitely from the prehistoric age, genetically, but she lacks any predatory instinct. Looks like OsCorp has successfully domesticated dinosaurs.”

“Leave it to Osborn to create completely boring dinosaurs,” said Tony. He held up his now bandaged finger. “If she’s not dangerous, why did she bite me?” 

“Have you considered she just doesn’t like you?” 

Tony growled, Nessie hissed more of her baby dinosaur roars, and Peter pet her, calming her down and marveling at how awesome it was to have a dinosaur running around the lake house. 

“Dr. Banner,” said Peter. “If they can make dinosaurs, do you think they could engineer, like, a Pikachu?” 

“A what?” 

“You know, Pokemon?”

Bruce continued looking confused, and Tony continued looking like he was in great, neverending pain. 

*

“I don’t understand why I have to be here, Mr. Stark,” said Peter, as Tony pulled the car into the school parking lot. 

“Because this is entirely your fault.” 

“I think entirely is a little unfair.” Peter took a glance back at Nessie, who snuggled with her pink stuffed bunny. She had gotten so big that she covered the entire front seat of the car. “I’m not the one who suggested Morgan bring her pet dinosaur for show and tell.” 

“But you  _ are  _ the reason she has a pet dinosaur.” 

“Don’t think enough blame is pinned on OsCorp for that one, actually.” 

Tony parked the car, and grabbed Nessie’s leash from the dashboard. He managed to click it around her collar without losing an arm, or getting his hand bitten. They were working on their relationship, and in Peter’s opinion it was going pretty well, as long as Tony remembered to feed her hamburgers every once in a while. 

It was a slow walk to the school’s entrance. Nessie was a faster swimmer than walker, and Peter often wondered if she wouldn’t be happier living in the lake. 

“Okay,” said Tony. “You’re gonna have to carry her. I can’t take walking at this snail pace.”

“Why do I gotta carry her?”

Tony looked at Peter like he was dense. “Because I would break my back, super-genius.” 

“Fine, fine,” said Peter, scooping Nessie up in his arms. She licked his face in appreciation. 

They got looks from everyone who spotted them in the hallway, as they marched towards Morgan’s classroom. Once they got there, it was impossible for Morgan’s classmates to focus on anything else besides the dinosaur, so they got to start show-and-tell right away. 

Peter stood next to Tony and Morgan up at the front of the class, dozens of tiny eyes staring at him. He handed the end of Nessie’s leash to Morgan, and she plopped down in front of her feet. 

“This is my pet dinosaur -” started Morgan, only for Tony to cut her off with a series of loud coughs and a correction.

“Reptile,” he said. “Dinosaur’s just a family joke. They definitely don’t exist anymore.” 

“Uh, Mr. Stark,” said Mrs. Presley. “What kind of reptile is Nessie, exactly?” 

“A big one,” he answered, then urged Morgan to continue. 

“Nessie likes bubble baths,” she said. 

Peter could tell from the look on Tony’s face that he was having flashbacks from the time he’d walked into the bathroom and saw him and Morgan with a giant bubble gun, and Nessie in the tub filled with even more bubbles, snapping her jaws at the flying ones. 

“And cheeseburgers,” she continued. “My big brother Peter rescued her from that mean green guy -”

“-the pet store owner!” Peter injected. “He was, umm, wearing a green polo, and kept her in a tiny cage.”

“Yeah, they were so mean to Nessie,” said Morgan. “Always poking her with needles and keeping her locked up, but then Peter got her for me for my birthday, and now we have lots of fun, even if it stresses my dad out sometimes.” 

Morgan finished her speech, and Mrs. Presley whispered to Tony, asking him if it were safe for the children to pet the creature she was still convinced was something more than a reptile. He nodded. The children lined up, and after they each had a turn, Tony and Peter left with Nessie, once again, locked in Peter’s arms. 

“I think it went well,” said Peter, once they were in the car. In the backseat, Nessie took a bite out of her pink bunny. “Maybe we should stop for burgers on the way home.” 

*

Eventually, Nessie moved out of the house.

It happened over time, as she grew larger and larger, and became way too big to sleep on the end of Morgan’s bed. She grew so massive, Morgan understood it’d be cruel to keep her locked up in the house, especially when they had a perfectly good lake in the backyard. 

So the lake became Nessie’s home, but it wasn’t like she didn’t come back to visit. She showed up, emerging from the lake to scare the hell out of Happy, on the occasions of family barbecue, enticed by the smells coming off the grill.

She showed up for Morgan on summer days, when her and Peter swam in the lake despite Tony’s concerns about flesh eating bacteria. 

“You worry too much, Mr. Stark,” Peter would tell him. 

And Tony would tell him that was impossible. It was a parent’s job to worry, and it would never quite be enough. 

When the house got quiet, when Morgan aged out of the part of her life when her family was her entire world, and when Peter became busy with college and Spider-Man nonsense, Tony worried more. 

Some nights he found himself wandering outside, firing up the grill, and throwing a few burgers for himself, and for Nessie, who could always be counted on to rise up out of the lake for a good burger. 

As the sun set, casting an orangish glow over the lake, he threw a burger out to Nessie and she ate with a snap of her jaw.

“You know,” Tony told her. “You’re not half bad, Ness.” 

She walked towards him, and before Tony could react, licked him. Her giant, reptile tongue left dinosaur slavia and small bits of hamburger on his face and clothes. 

“Really,” he said. “Just when we were starting to get along.” 

Nessie put her head to the sky, and roared at the disappearing sun. Tony could only hope the neighbors wouldn’t hear her. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to frostysunflowers for naming Nessie :)
> 
> thanks for reading!! <3 
> 
> comments and kudos let me know what you think!! 
> 
> or come and scream at me [hailing-stars](https://hailing-stars.tumblr.com)


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